how much I actually love instant comedy, incredible

Something pretty hilarious. Something I could not stop laughing about.

Something actually pretty particular and at the same moment completely private. I may not talk about it, but whatever.

I was in laying in my bed, eating some chips when I started to realize that something was scratching my... ehm.. (yeah you know I mean my testicles). I didn't really bother about it, until some days later it happened again, and it actually didn't stop to hurt. I tried to froget but I could not. It wasn't swallowed, it was just a bit red, obviously from scratching. My first thought was to google it, I always do this when I can't solve the problem I am having. The first page was overfilled with articles about cancer and deceased testicles which I really found a bit heavy, thinking back that my problem was only disturbing and not really a danger for my life. Well, after some minutes of research I packed all the bravery I had, and finally telephoned a doctor. I thought I would never have to phone to such private MD's but unfortunately I had. The secretary answered and I got a settled day where I should come. The days passed and I finally went to my new "personal" (as they all, and I really mean ALL, call themselves so) medical partner who would have maybe helped me with my problem.

As I entered the surgery; I had to stop. I mean, I absolutely could not get my eye of that female office assistant. She was like the sun on a cloudy day. I am really sorry if my girlfriend is reading this. (I still love you, bisous)

And as she asked how she could help me, I suddenly realised how dumb such a situation actually is.

Imagine you are at such a doctor. Imagine you have a personal, private problem with your balls (ok now I've said it, excuse me readers, if you do not like my language, but that had to be done)
Imagine you enter the room and see such an awesome lady, like as if she was perfect to you (I do not really know how you can describe someone you find attractive lol)

And now tell me. How unreal is it, to flirt with this this beauty at a testicle doctor?

(I'm lucky, I'm Luke - Mr. Mockridge you are a god

 all rights reserved_Luke Mockridge

the perks of being a wallflower - 8,1

I am arrived at a point of my life, where I somehow think that all I am doing, is done in a wrong way, or does not have any sense. What I want to say is that I am not really sure why I am living the way I do. Like why am I studying? Or why am I not having the "time of my life" when all other students are living their own dream? I mean I am happy, I am not having any serious problems in general, but I am somehow sad in a way I can not describe. It's not that happyness I show when I am having fun with my friends when I go out. I am not smiling the way when I see my family. I am not reaching my self-fulfillment I actually want to reach. The problem here is, what am I even trying to reach? How can I reach something when I don't know what I am actually searching for.

I have a huge irrational brain who is working non-stop like a public washing machine. I want to reach a better life, to a point where I stop being dumb, a point where I can start living my own dream. I don't know yet what my dream is, but I know it has to be great. I am like that nerd that evey school class has, I am the bitch of everyone neighbourhood, I am the white sheep in a black community. (I converted the colours  for not being racist huehue)

Laying in my bed, always helps. Tea always helps. Even white chocolate helps me sometimes to keep my mind up, and not to give up. It's hard to do things when you don't know where the sense in them is. How can you for instance watch a movie, when you ae not interested in. Or eating something you do not like. I would like to know why all students have their lives so easy, studying, partying, eating, having fun. 

I am troubling with my research for the sense of life. 

unlimited life

Last night before the PC2 tomorrow. My second English test this year. Aaaaaaand I'm off. I do not know what to think, what to learn more. I have done what I could, I hope it is enough. Maybe not. 

Well it's not over, I know, and I should never give up but whatever I'm still not feeling confident with what I have learned. 
Randomly beginning a new topic, yeah that's my brain, no logical follow-ups, no connections, no cohesion, maybe that's why I fail at writing longer coherent texts.
Why do all kids have these easy lifes, like cartoons, movies. Where the whole family is happy no matter what you do or what you feel about anything in this beautiful world.
I kinda dislike the idea of making unrealistic perspectives in movies or comics, because you will never reach that deep feevered and highly wished imagination of a perfect world where everyone is happy at the end of the story.
I am not a romantic guy, but I love my girlfriend, I like romantic movies aswell, science fiction is not even that bad, but I am not the real fanatic of these genres.
I'm rumbling again, whatever. I know it's hard to read my posts when you probably can't follow my logic.

I am basically trying to get a grid in my head, something easy, something where I can put all my thoughts in an ordered poisition, so they are clear, easy to find and of course logical.
The feeling of being different in an unknown way spreads through my mind. I am somehow such a close-minded guy, you will never get to know the 'all-in', the whole cake, everything about me, just because I won't talk about it. Maybe this blog is helping me to get the freedom I need.

from downtown,

goodgamewellplayed

Stay gold - cool kids never die

I'd love to be cool. Unfortunately I don't think I am. 

In my oppinion the factor of being cool is nowadays such an important status for youths. If you are not cool, you are not in the gang, if you are not in the gang - you are.... well let's be honest - fucked .

I kinda think people don't even realise how much this factor can influence their lifes. Not all of course, I will never be allowed to generalise, but a great part of them.

I think coolness is not a simple factor or something you can achieve wearing the newest shirt, or having the richest parents, or even the most expensive car. It's a thought, it can vary easily, an idea - an opinion.
And the main problem with this idea is that it has to grow bigger and bigger in your head until you are completely satisfied with it. Like you will never be happy with a lollypop when you are addicted to chocolate. You won't be grateful unless you get the full almond chocolate bar you have been loving since you were a kid. Once the idea has set up her roots in your brilliant brain, you will be able to start to accept it and to get confronted with it. If you will agree with it, the roots are going to get longer and deeper grafted - which will finally lead to the point where you are believing in this idea.
 - this simple thought does not have to come from foreign brains. Even if you trust that person, you can't fully be confindent with it because...
...IT IS YOUR IDEA WHICH WILL LEAD TO YOUR COOLNESS

(im not fully satisfied with this post but nvm i prob wont change it anyway cuz my coolness is affecting my motivation to go to sleep right in this moment..zZz)

i . really . can't . stop . hearing . this . song .

oh beloved deduction

Today's topic at university was  'describing people'.
I love to travel and one thing that I love to notice is, what people do and how they are. Im rambling a bit, let me explain you what I want to say.
You are in the subway and see a guy who is wearing a wedding ring, you can easily and logcally guess that he is married, don't you?
Sherlock Holmes, one of my favourite characters, calls it 'deduction'. It's easy, it makes fun. I kind of love it, it helps you so much with guessing how the person is. At least I think so. If someone is wearking some trainings socks and a new sport outfit, I would rather guess he is coming from the gym or whatever the sport is. A tennis racket suggests a tennis player. wet hairs could suggest a swimmer, or that he got wet somewhere. Did it rain? Yes, so why is he not wearing an umbrella or at least a coat? So you even guess the weather outside if you actually don't know it, just by looking at foreign people's dresses.
Isn't it easy?



Here is a short part of the film with Robert Downey in which he deducts the profile of watson's new wife.
Sherlock Holmes - movie part

the next link is actually a tv series, but have some entertaining hours watching this insanity! :) 
Sherlocked

Advertising, oh hated friend - or a good way to get on someone's nerves

I absolutely can not tell you how much I hate advertising. Really. For me it's the most annoying thing after: 
1. not having something to eat at home
2. not having any tea at home. (yeah I am addicted to any kind of tea, I just simply love drinking this warming beverage who calms me down like a pill)

Why do people make advertising so disturbing? I mean, they engage a company, which mostly creates them a possibility to show what they offer, which will hopefully lead to sell their products which is the main aim of persuading advertising right? SO WHY AM I SO ANNOYED BY THESE? I would never ever buy an indian carpet because they tell me how good it is, where it comes from, what a great quality it has and probably how low the price is. Suprise, suprise, let's cut the price. Nice slogan, but I still won't buy your carpet.

Another point is television commerce. Same concept, just that a moderator continously repeats the information about his wonderful product, and how fast the offer will end, if you don't call him now. You are washing your car, it's sunny outside, your sweat runs down your neck but yes you have to call them now or the offer will expire and you won't be able to get this one special product which guarantees to make your life easier.

Enough trashtalking for 2day, it's making me mad.
A cup of tea in my left, Paulo Coelho on the right.
bon nuit mes cheres amis